How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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