went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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