do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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