he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So many bounce houses so little time
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
