Whod you bang
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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