Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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