i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
