Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
