I'm gonna have a badass scar
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
