the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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