it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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