I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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