He kissed a someone with a penis
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
