All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
