this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
