She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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