she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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