How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
