okay pat passed out under dana's car
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
