Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Randomize
