she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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