i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
