and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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