it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
