i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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