I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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