Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
