Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
