Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
