I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
