Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Small penises have feelings too.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
