STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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