When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
cat food counts as protein by the way
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
