No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize