The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
