is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
