Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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