dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
