His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
