I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
