Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
