My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
