please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
