did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
