Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize