After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
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