the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
