My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
