Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
