i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
