And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize