my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
