When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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