The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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