I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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