This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
