I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
