i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
