I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
