i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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