I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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