good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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