I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
