HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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