Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
