can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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